Change Is Natural. Change Is Hard.

by guest blogger Patricia Nan Anderson

consultant and trainer at Patricia Nan Anderson.com

Everything changes.

It’s funny that we can be surprised by change since it’s the one thing we can always be sure of. But we are never ready.

Part of the problem is that we can stand some small changes as long as the important things stay the same. But we have no more control over the important things than we have over the piddly ones. And these days, change in the important things is something many families experience over and over again. Deployment. Illness. Job loss. Divorce. Maybe we lose the house. Change. One change after another.

Sometimes we have to withstand what seems unbearable. We don’t have any choice. And when we’re in that difficult place, our kids are there with us. We not only have to deal with change ourselves but we have to help our children manage it too. How do you do that? Here are some tips:

·         Tell no lies. Tell truths that will not have to be revised as your kids grow older or hear things from others.

·         Be matter-of-fact. Share your feelings honestly but there’s no need to increase the emotional drama.

·         Don’t point fingers. Identifying the person who is “at fault” doesn’t help anything and causes lasting harm.

·         Move forward. Today is different from yesterday, but that doesn’t mean you can give up on tomorrow.

Look ahead. Your life and your children’s lives take place in the future. Embrace all the experiences ahead. By demonstrating strength in difficult times, you give your kids the gift of resilience and optimism.

Even the most fortunate parents might wish to do that.

(c) 2011, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved.

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