How Much Media Is Too Much?

by guest blogger Kathy Slattengren

parenting educator at Priceless Parenting

When parents discuss how much media they allow their children, the answers vary wildly. Some parents have very strict time restrictions on their children's media viewing while others give their children more control over the time they spend on media. How do you know when your child is getting too much media? One mom knew she needed to allow less video game time when her 7-year-old son started not wanting play outside or do things with the family preferring his video game instead. He was so attached to playing his video game that he often pitched a fit when he was told the game had to go off. His games didn't have a good way to save the game for later so he was reluctant to stop playing and lose his place in the game. She decided to reduce his video game playing to one hour twice a week. She started giving him a 10 minute warning before his hour was up. When the 10 minutes were up, he could either choose to shut the game off or she would turn the power off. It only took a couple times of turning the power off to get him to shut the game down in time. What are signs that digital usage is becoming a problem? If your children are exhibiting these types of behaviors, it's time to think about reducing the time they spend on media: Spending less and less time with family and friends Difficulty focusing on the present moment due to craving video game or cellphone Developing health issues such as Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, eye strain, weight gain, backaches Withdrawing from sports, hobbies and social interactions Losing sleep due to gaming, texting Acting irritable or discontent when not using digital items Declining grades in school, missing school Talking and thinking obsessively about the digital activity Denying or minimizing any negative consequences What do the experts recommend? Hilarie Cash, psychotherapist and co-author of Video Games & Your Kids, makes the following recommendations for personal screen time (computer, TV, video games). This time does not include computer time needed for homework. Under 2-years-old: no screen time Preschool: 1 - 2 hours/day Elementary: 2 hours/day Junior/Senior High: 2 - 3 hours/day She also recommends no TV, internet or gaming consoles in children's rooms. The primary problem with having these devices in children's bedrooms is that parents have more difficulty monitoring what's going on. If you feel your child is addicted to video games and will react extremely to having limits set, it is wise to seek help from a professional counselor or psychologist. Won't it be difficult to set limits? It can be very hard to set limits around digital entertainment. These digital devices keep our children content while we benefit from some free time. However, when we realize our children's media usage is having a negative impact on them, we need to set some limits despite our children's protesting. With older children, it can help to explain why we're concerned about the time they're spending on digital entertainment. Engaging them in deciding what reasonable limits should be set may help them in sticking to those limits. We may also need to change our own behavior so that we are modeling reasonable digital media usage. While this won't be easy, it will provide the time to try other activities. Perhaps this will be the summer your family discovers how much fun it is to go biking together! (c) 2011, Kathy Slattengren. All Rights Reserved. Views expressed by guest bloggers may not be the views of Washington Parenting Education Network or all of its members. Guest bloggers are wholly responsible for the content of their posts.

Keeping Your Kids Safe and Keeping Your Sanity During the Holidays

by guest blogger Kim Estes

helping kids stay safe at Savvy Parents Safe Kids

Ready or not, here they come: The holidays. Along with the holiday season come the relatives and the insane schedules. Even though the holidays are stressful, safety conversations with your child shouldn’t be. However, with recent news reports, parents are concerned and safety is on everyone’s mind. Now is the time to take a moment BEFORE things get too crazy hectic and time becomes too short, to talk to your family and create some common sense safety tips.

Safety while shopping:

• Have a designated spot (a sales counter) to meet older kids if you get separated.

• Younger children should know to look for a “mom with kids” if they get lost

• Have younger kids practice your name and cell phone number

• Remind kids never to leave the store, no matter what!

• Older kids should always take a friend when going to the mall and not leave the premises with anyone

• Kids need to check first with you before going anywhere or accepting gifts

• Never leave children unattended in a vehicle, stores, arcades, or playgrounds

Safety during holiday parties:

• Let your child chose who they wish to show affection to. Do not force them to kiss or hug someone. Kids need to know they have power over their own bodies.

• Check in on kids during large gatherings. Have each adult take 20 minute “shifts” to do a quick walk through the house/yard and check on the kids to make sure that they are doing OK

• Kids should check first with a parent before going off with someone (eg. To play video games in a bedroom or leaving the house to go play)

• If someone is making your child uncomfortable (excessive tickling, hugging, wrestling) intervene on your child’s behalf to end the behavior. Your child needs to know that you will protect them.

Safety conversations with your child will be better received when you keep them short and simple. Never use scare tactics. There will be lots of interaction with family and friends, new experiences and new places. Take time to practice “what if” scenarios with your kids. Taking time to talk safety with your kids will take some of the anxiety out of your holidays.

(c) 2011, Kim Estes. All Rights Reserved.

Views expressed by guest bloggers may not be the views of Washington Parenting Education Network or all of its members. Guest bloggers are wholly responsible for the content of their posts.